Paleo Treats won World War II

A little known fact about Paleo treats; they pretty much won WWII for the Allies. The Axis relied heavily on paleo desserts, using them to fuel the Blitzkreig (normal humans cannot move as fast as the Germans did on Paleo Treats®.)

As the Americans island-hopped across the Pacific, they gradually cut off the supply of coconut milk the Axis forces were using to make Paleo Treats® to fuel their elite units. Without this vital nourishment, Hitler and his nefarious gang of rogue nations were unable to sustain their onslaught. 

Once the Americans discovered the closely held secret of Paleo Treats, they immediately scheduled D-Day. In June of 1944 once all the new rations had been distributed, America and her allies pushed forward, beginning a killing spree that lasted the summer, ultimately liberating the France and saving the planet in the process.

As a side note: Once Americans were being fed properly on a Paleo diet with PaleoTreats, the number of enemy shot dropped dramatically: Americans got close in caveman style and began pistol-whipping (the new version of paleo clubbing) Germans to death.

Ok, ok, Paleo Treats weren't around then, and didn't actually have anything to do with winning World War II.  Still, we think the troops sure would've appreciated a Cacao Now or a Bandito instead of those old K-rats.  

Too much reading...
How about dessert?

Take me to the store

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